my brain is an interesting place guys.

Had a splendiferous weekend in LBI. We slept in, napped on the beach, visited (and drank!) with friends, took amazing bike rides around some awesome neighborhoods … and now I’m back to the real world. Lately, my mind seems to be in overdrive lately … thinking on everything. Work, life, house, family and crafts ……

I don’t hate my job. Or the people I work with. But I think I tend to resent my job because it takes me away from crafting and my house. Even thought I can afford what I have partly because of my job. How do I reconcile this??

I love crafting. I have so many ideas!! But lack of time hampers things. And then, when I do have a spare few moments … fear of messing up paralyzes me. If I really want to try and make a go of this whole business thing … I have to work every available moment. How do I stop letting fear of failure take over??

I feel like I don’t appreciate or enjoy my home on days I work. Especially night shifts. I feel that all I do is breeze through on my way out the door. Now, I love sleep. LOVE. But I believe part of the problem is the siren song of my bed. If I could climb out a few hours before my shift, I could have breakfast in the yard or on the porch. I could get a few stitches in my latest project. At the very least I could dust a room or clean a toilet. Maybe that would make me feel more productive … and more in my house as apposed to just blowing through it.

Oh and I need to relax. Enjoy. Breathe. You know, all those things silly self help books tell you to do. But I really just need to stop expecting bad things (STILL!) to happen … and just enjoy the day as it unfolds. I STILL struggle with this daily.

I have a job I don’t hate. An awesome family. In three months (!!!) I’m marrying quite possibly the best human being I’ve ever met. I have a gorgeous home. Lots of yarn and fabric to play with. It just doesn’t get any better than this … and I’m so thankful. I just have to learn how to relax and enjoy it. You would think that would be the easy part, right? Not so much for me.


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