what’s up, buttercup?

and just like that, August is almost over, i have less than a month before my next craft show, and it’s almost autumn!  goodness gracious …

life has been it’s usual, up and down self these days.  lots to be thankful for, lots of fun and laughs, and lots that i struggle with.  i’ve started a “c25k” run program and have been running for about 7 weeks now.  i needed something to get my blood flowing since crocheting on the couch is fun … but made me more sedentary than i’ve ever been (and that’s saying something being quite a fan of the couch my whole life).  i am glad i am doing it … and love seeing the changes in my body and a little weight loss too (this whole messed up thyroid thing is for the birds.  but i’ve lost 10 pounds and that’s more than i’ve lost on any program since thyroid-brokenness).

some days are harder than others … today, for example, going out and being active was the absolute LAST thing i wanted to do.  but, i just do it.  i don’t give my body a choice even though my brain comes up with eight billion excuses before i even get out of bed.  and even though i struggled through today’s program … and was slower than molasses in january … i did it.  and that’s really all that matters.

i’ve signed up for my first 5k at the end of September … mainly because i needed something besides an app and my brain to hold me accountable.  my sister Stacie and my sister-in-law Jen are both runners and do a few races a year.  i decided that signing up for a race with them would be the best way to stay on track.

another reason i started the run program was because, another side effect of crocheting on the couch was that my mind has taken off with worries.  i maybe be working on projects and a tv show may be on in front of me … but the brain was left to wander … and that is not a good thing for me.  anxiety and mild depression are every day battles for me … and have been for years.  i just felt so sluggish physically and mentally … and i felt like i was slowly sinking into a bad pit.

because we are working on starting a family (another whole world of anxiety and depression these days …), i no longer take the medications i took previously to keep my brain in check.  dealing with my brain on a daily basis is just so difficult.  so i am doing everything in my power to hold it together.  i continually have to remind myself that worrying solves, fixes, prevents NOTHING.  one of the first Bible verses i ever committed to memory was Philippians 4:6-7, “6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  i need it tattooed to the inside of my eyeballs.  worrying about EVERYTHING is what i do … and i’m just exhausted … which robs these days of their joy and beauty.

the running is helping … but i am still struggling.  it can be so hard, sometimes.  but forward is the only direction to go in … so forward i go.


so i’m running, i have a 5k coming up.  i am approaching crunch time for the chester show and am still developing a bunch of new items for the fall and christmas season.  oh! and although the deer have pretty much cleaned our garden out of tomatoes (grrrrrr …) we do seem to have a bunch of pumpkins growing!!!  :)  i am so excited for them.

hope ya’ll are having the best summer! enjoy every precious moment.




One response to “what’s up, buttercup?”

  1. Thank you so much for this post and the scripture. It came at a perfect time for me. I am also trying to get off medication for anxiety/depression and it is a daily battle.

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